Two Brits One Joint: A California Trip

DALL - E Image of Union Jack and Santa Barbara Flags Combined

“I can’t believe a bird shat on me,” Becca said as she viciously scrubbed white goo off her sleeve with fast food napkins in the lobby of the beach boutique hotel. A wholesome Midwestern American family of four was offended and fled. Her childhood friend Natalia laughed. Becca thought she had been funny and forgot that Americans were more sensitive to swearing.

Their California dream vacation was coming to a close. Tomorrow morning they would return the brown nineteen-ninety-six convertible and fly home to rainy London. Santa Barbara was the perfect charming beach town to enjoy the last couple days of a newly divorced life.

Natalia was originally from Poland, but she'd been in love with England ever since she moved there when she was eight. Becca was originally from Liverpool and she loved being anywhere except for England. They were close friends on and off. When one friend had a boyfriend in the city the other was doing a safari in Africa. When one friend was dropping out of medical school, the other was interning at a bank.

Their paths crossed again when Becca’s bland marriage finally ended and Natalia was caught sleeping on the job after working thirty-four straight hours. An escape was just what they needed. Natalia planned the entire relaxing trip with very little down time in between the traveling. If they weren't on a plane or a train they were in the car driving up and down the California Coast.

And the best part was that Becca’s horrendous divorce wasn’t mentioned once during the entire trip. There was too much newness to ingest. It almost seemed like not talking about problems might actually be a real solution.

Three weeks of nonstop traveling came to a close. They could feel it as they kicked off their shoes in the hotel room. Becca dropped onto the couch and took in her surroundings one last time. Small paintings of brightly colored boats. Palm trees wallpaper. Natalia had already packed both of their bags and made dinner reservations at a bistro just around the corner. Becca wasn't hungry. She wanted to organize all the photos she had taken the past twenty-one days.

“Fuckin’ get up, will ya? It’s our last night,” Natalia said. Becca's concentration could not be broken. Natalia gave her a long stare. During the pause, for some reason, Becca started feeling sad. She started looking for answers. Did she not want the trip to end? Was the trip all it could be? Why was Natalia being so hostile?

Surprisingly, Natalia started to smile. “I know what we’re going to do.” Instantly, Becca knew what she was talking about and immediately sat up. They couldn't contain themselves. It was like a laughing gas bomb was dropped on two teenage girls.

A pre-rolled joint given to them free from a Caucasian guy with dreadlocks holding a tablet at a pineapple-themed dispensary their first day in California stared them down. They crept into the store like they were doing a dare and ran out before two minutes were up, but not without a souvenir.

It was their last day and they still hadn’t smoked it. This small crushed up magical plant wrapped in paper had been in the back of their minds since day one, ushering in hints of anxiety. They both kept awkwardly looking at each other, then around the room then back at the crudely wrapped joint on the coffee table.

Natalia thought about throwing it out. She worked corporate and this didn't match up with who she thought she was. As she stood up, she was about to suggest giving it to some actual teenagers, but Becca beat her to the punch. “Why ruin a perfect trip?” Becca said. "Let's toss it off the balcony, give it to the seagulls."

For some reason, Natalia couldn’t explain it to herself, she flipped inside. She wanted to rebel. Now she had to smoke it. And she needed Becca to smoke it with her.

“I’m not going to smoke it without you,” Natalia insisted. “Besides, it was your idea to begin with.” Ironically, Becca was wearing a shirt with the California Flag Bear smoking marijuana on it. She crossed her arms and pouted. Neither one of them had ever tried the stuff. They were given opportunities countless times throughout life, but always passed.

Natalia wanted to share this experience with her friend. Their first drug, together, in a foreign country. California! Now what a story to bring back home with them! Becca didn't understand what had gotten over her Polish friend who was afraid of petting zoos.

Becca surveyed the room then admitted she was afraid. In fact, she was starting to experience high intensity anxiety. She started to think she was getting high just being near it. She went to the balcony for fresh air, but was hit with vertigo so she retreated back inside.

Natalia had no patience left. She told her that she wasn’t going to throw it out and wasn’t going to smoke it by herself. "There's only one option," she said. "It's not peer pressure when you're pushing forty."

Becca was sweating, breathing heavy and becoming dizzy. “Why can’t you smoke it alone? Is it because you’re afraid of being alone?” She counted objects in the room to slow her breathing. She landed back on the joint which reversed the direction. Natalia ignored Becca's dig against her codependent nature.

Natalia grabbed the joint and put it back in her bag. “You’re not ready for it.” She marched to the door. “You’re not ready for California.”

Becca wiped her eyes, extremely confused. “Where are you going?”

She reached into her bag and read a crunched up wrapper. “To smoke… The Governor’s Estate and probably shag a knobhead.” Natalia hurried out the door.

She marched down the hallway with purpose, but kept looking back. The door didn’t open. Becca didn’t follow her out. Natalia kept walking, heading for the elevator.

There was a maid service cart parked next to a room. While she waited for the elevator, she played with the joint. She couldn't make a decision. The sound of the elevator door opening surprised her and the joint ended up in the trash.

Nobody emerged from the elevator and she didn't want to reach into the trash. Natalia sighed then got into the elevator and rode it downstairs.

A foreign maid with dyed red hair returned to the cart, closing the wooden room door behind her. The joint laid on top of the trash just ready to be picked up. She did two takes over each shoulder to see if anyone was pulling a prank on her, but the hall was quiet and empty.

She reached into the trash and pulled out the joint. A satisfied smile washed across her face. It was the best tip she had received all day. She put the joint behind her ear and pushed the cart down the hallway.